Jiolyemaster on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/jiolyemaster/art/Ryan-s-Victory-Fire-Nuzlocke-Part-57-632375362Jiolyemaster

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Ryan's Victory Fire Nuzlocke Part 57

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Finally, I'm able to upload this page! Since college started, I had less time to continue drawing this comic. I'm trying to find some time to do it, but homeworks are getting more and more numerous. Anyway, this page is the beginning of the battle between Ryan and Wind. What will happen next? Look forward the next page to know!

Previous: Ryan's Victory Fire Nuzlocke Part 56
Cover: Ryan's Victory Fire Nuzlocke Cover
Next: Plz be (really) patient! :)
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999x5003px 2.71 MB
© 2016 - 2024 Jiolyemaster
Comments5
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Gecko-Comics's avatar
I have a few critiques:

I'll say the minor one first. In the second to last row, the bad guy's thumb is on the wrong side of his hand. Mistakes happen, but it does look odd and little details like that are important to notice.

Also, it is very unrealistic for Ryan to win this battle or even put up much of a fight at all. If this guy were actually a former Elite Four member, no 2-badge Trainer could stand up to him. Even Trainers with all the Badges should still have a tough fight against him. It's cool that the bad guy is a former Elite Four member; it makes him more intimidating and makes his character more interesting, but then you have to commit to that in the story. It should be the fight of Ryan's life and he should realize how far he has to go to get that skill level still.

I really enjoy your comic! I'm giving you tips for improvement because I want to help you grow as a storyteller, so these are things to notice in your comics and work on. Keep up the good work, I love your stuff :)